Recently, I joined a workshop about leadership, communication, and building trust. It was one of those sessions that wasn’t just theory—but left me with real tools to improve how I work with people. Here’s what I learned, in plain language:
The leadership mindset
A big takeaway for me was the idea of the Learning Zone. Imagine three zones:
- Comfort Zone → Feels safe, but we don’t grow.
- Stretch Zone → Uncomfortable, but this is where growth happens. We should hang out here more often.
- Alarm Zone → Too stressful, not helpful.
Good leaders intentionally put themselves—and their teams—in the Stretch Zone. Growth demands discomfort. And that means two things:
- Embrace discomfort. The faster we get okay with feeling awkward, the faster we learn.
- Reflect on ourselves. Great leaders keep checking their own behavior and mindset.
Another mindset shift: Great leaders have low ego and high empathy. It’s not about being “the boss.” It’s about listening, caring, and helping people do their best work.
Communication: More than just words
We did a fun (and slightly awkward) icebreaker: drawing each other’s faces while maintaining eye contact—and not looking at the paper. The point was to practice presence and connection without judgment.
Key lessons about communication:
- People want to feel seen and heard. Leadership starts with paying attention.
- Communicate with intention. Why am I saying this? For example, feedback isn’t for me to feel better—it’s to help someone improve.
- It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. Tone, facial expressions, and body language matter as much as words.
- Be deep and brief. Speak meaningfully, but keep it concise. Long speeches lose people.
One statement that stuck with me: The difference between a good PM and a great PM is leadership presence.
Trust: the leadership foundation
Trust is why people follow you. If they don’t trust you, they’ll tolerate you—but they won’t be inspired or loyal.
We learned about the Trust triangle:
- Authenticity → Don’t say one thing and do another. No faking.
- Logic → People need to believe you know your stuff and can think clearly.
- Empathy → People trust leaders who care about them.
We also talked about the Trust equation:
Trustworthiness = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-Orientation
- Credibility → Your reputation and skills
- Reliability → Following through on what you say
- Intimacy → Building closeness—but with professional boundaries
- Self-Orientation → The lower your ego, the more people trust you
Leadership styles and when to use them
We explored four leadership modes:
- Advisor (Telling more, asking less)
- Good for urgent situations.
- Mentor (Telling and asking equally)
- Teaching while getting input.
- Coach (Asking more, telling less)
- Best for developing people and teams.
- Supporter (Neither telling nor asking much)
- Giving space to skilled teams who can operate independently.
A big warning: Don’t jump from Supporter to Advisor out of nowhere. It makes people feel like you’ve swooped in to take over because you think they’re failing.
Instead, we should:
- Analyze our team
- Pick the right leadership mode
- Keep adapting as context changes
There’s no one-size-fits-all formula in leadership—it’s all situational.
Leaders as coaches
One powerful idea: A PM’s output equals the team’s output. I’m not there just to manage tickets—I’m there to help people grow.
As leaders, we should ask questions 90% of the time. Not to interrogate, but because:
The best solutions usually come from the people closest to the problem.
We practiced a coaching framework called TGROW:
- T = Topic → What are we discussing today?
- G = Goal → What outcome do we want?
- R = Reality → What’s the current situation?
- O = Options → What choices do we have?
- W = What’s next? → Concrete next steps
It’s simple—but incredibly effective for helping people find their own answers.
My big takeaways
- Leadership is a mindset, not a title.
- Trust is built through authenticity, logic, and empathy.
- Communication is about being intentional, present, and concise.
- Great leaders coach more than they command.
- Growth happens in the stretch zone—not the comfort zone.
This workshop reminded me that leadership is a lifelong practice. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up, learning, and helping others shine.